Sunday, 30 December 2012
Sunday, 23 December 2012
Monday, 17 December 2012
Aprender a perdonar...To learn to excuse
Siempre he pensado que el perdón es una especie de bálsamo, tanto para quien lo recibe, como para quien lo da. Pero perdonar no es siempre facil, pues exige dejar de centrarnos en nuestros propios sentimientos.
El Yom Kipppur, es la fecha mas celebrada del calendario hebreo, significa el dia de la expiación. Durante esta jornada, se le pide perdón a Dios, y durante los 10 dias que le preceden, las personas buscan a quienes han ofendido para pedirles disculpas y así empezar bien un nuevo año como una hoja en blanco.
Yo sinceramente creo que seria estupendo que en cada religión existiera un Dia del Perdón en todas las religiones, ya que en general, no somos muy buenos para pedir perdón ni para perdonar. Aunque no todas las religiones tienen un ritual especifico para el perdón, la mayoría de las tradiciones espirituales, dan un valor importante a la capacidad de perdonar, y las diferentes culturas, reconocen la importancia que tiene para la convivencia humana y el bienestar personal.
Yo creo que el perdón tiene una clara lectura en mi opinión, por un lado el consistente en poder sentirnos menos ofendidos y enojados, y dejar de culpar a quien nos ha lastimado, y por otro, perdonar implica estar dispuesto a abandonar nuestro derecho a estar resentidos, a juzgar negativamente, y a tratar con indiferencia a quienes nos han ofendido, para cultivar en cambio virtudes como la compasión y la generosidad. Perdonar implica tambien cambiar nuestras respuestas destructivas , y transformarlas en conductas que promueven un buen funcionamiento personal.
Perdonar es diferente que justificar o exculpar una falta. Tampoco significa negar u olvidar lo sucedido. Es cierto que el perdón puede llevar a la reconciliación, o la reparación de la relación entre la víctima y quien comete la ofensa. Pero como sucede con otras virtudes, la capacidad de perdonar no se da automaticamente, se tiene que aprender y desarrollar. A veces miro alrededor y observo a padres, madres y maestros de niños pequeños para ver cuanto tiempo dedican a enseñar el perdón y concederlo o pedirlo. pero, ¿Porque es importante perdonar?, las razones no son solo filosoficas o morales, sino tambien fisicas psicologicas, asi como con la mejora de las relaciones interpersonales.
Las personas dispuestas a perdonar, tambien presentan menos ansiedad y depresión, asi como hostilidad. La capacidad de perdonar, esta asociada a tener más emociones positivas, a sentir mayor satisfacción con la vida y tener menos síntomas físicos.El perdón esta asociado al estress, y que los niveles de estress y los síntomas físicos que lo acompañan, disminuyen disminuyen cuando las personas son capaces de perdonar. Todo es una especie de programación genética, tanto como para perdonar, como para buscar venganza. Pero...¿que tipo de circunstancias o característica determina si perdonamos o contraatacamos?, yo pienso que es mas probable que perdonemos cuando vemos a transgresor como una persona que merece la pena, o si pensamos que el transgresor no representa un nuevo riesgo, si ha expresado su arrepentimiento, y ha pedido perdón, pensamos que no nos volverá a lastimar.
Sabemos que es mas facil perdonar a quien ha actuado sin mala intención, que al que nos ha lastimado deliberadamente. Y el caracter importa, a las personas empáticas les resulta más facil perdonar. Hay teorias que explican que el perdón tiene la misma base neurológica que la empatia, y que tener la capacidad de ponernos en el lugar del otro, facilita que le perdonemos.
El perdón no es solo una acción, , sino todo un proceso. ¿como se puede poner en marcha entonces?, en mi opinión se puede hacer asi:
- Recordar el dolor, visualizar los eventos y las circunstancias de la ofensa.
- Empatizar con el transgresor, tratar de comprender su punto de vista.
- Altruismo, el perdón es un regalo que se da sin pedir nada a cambio.
- Comprometerse públicamente a perdonar a esa persona.
- Honrar ese compromiso, es decir mantenerse decidido a perdonar.
Porque indudablemente, vivir bien es la mejor solución, en vez de seguir centrándonos en nuestros sentimientos heridos y dar con ello poder sobre nosotros a quién nos lastimó, aprender a buscar el amor, la belleza y la bondad a nuestro alrededor. Perdonar nos ayuda a recuperar el poder de nuestra vida.
I have always thought that the pardon is a balsam species, so much for the one who receives it, as for the one who gives it. But excusing is not always easy, since it demands to stop centring on our own feelings. Yom Kipppur, is the most celebrated date of the Hebrew calendar, he means the day of the atonement. During this day, one apologizes to God, and during 10 days that him precede, the persons look for those who have offended to apologize to them and this way to begin well a new year as a sheet in target.
I sincerely believe that I would be marvelous that in every religion a Day of the Pardon existed in all the religions, since in general, we are very good to apologize neither nor to excuse. Although not all the religions have a specific ritual for the pardon, most of the spiritual traditions, they give an important value to the aptitude to excuse, and the different cultures, admit the importance that it has for the human coexistence and the personal well-being.
I believe that the pardon has a clear reading in my opinion, on the one hand the consisting one in being able to feel less offended and angry, and stop blaming the one who has hurt us, and for other, to excuse it implies being ready to leave our right to be spiteful, to judge negatively, and to treat indifferently those who have offended us, to cultivate on the other hand virtues as the compassion and the generosity. To excuse implies changing also our destructive answers, and transforming them into conducts that promote a good personal functioning.
To excuse is different that to justify or to acquit an absence. Neither he means to deny or forget the events. It is true that the pardon can lead to the conciliation, or the repair of the relation between the victim and who commits the affront. But since it happens with other virtues, the aptitude to excuse does not happen automatically, it is necessary to learn and to develop. Sometimes I look around and observe parents, mothers and teachers of small children to see how long dedicate to teaching the pardon and to granting it or to asking for it. but: Because it is important to excuse?, the reasons are not only philosophical or moral, but also physical psychological, as well as with the progress of the interpersonal relations.
The persons ready to excuse, also present less anxiety and depression, as well as hostility. The aptitude to excuse, this partner to have more positive emotions, to feel major satisfaction with the life and to have less physical symptoms. The pardon is associated with the estress, and that the levels of estress and the physical symptoms that accompany it, they diminish they diminish when the persons are capable of excusing. Everything is a species of genetic programming, so much how to excuse, as to look for revenge. But...: what type of circumstances or characteristic does it determine if we excuse or counter-attack?.
I think that it is more probable that we excuse when we see transgressor like a person who is worth it, or if we think that the transgressor does not represent a new risk, if it has expressed its repentance, and he has apologized, we think that it will not turn us to hurt.
We know that it is easier to excuse the one who has acted without bad intention, which to the one that has hurt us deliberately. And the character matters, empáticas it turns out to be easier to excuse to the persons. There are theories that they explain that the pardon has the same neurological base as the empathy, and that to have the aptitude to put ourselves in the place of other, facilitates that we excuse to him.
The pardon is not alone an action, but the whole process. how is it possible to start then?, in my opinion it is possible to do so:
- To remember the pain, to visualize the events and the circumstances of the affront.
- Empatizar with the transgressor, to treat its point of view as a comprehension.
- Altruism, the pardon is a gift that happens without asking for anything in return.
- To promise to excuse publicly this person.
- To honor this commitment, that is to say to stay determined to excuse.
Because undoubtedly, to live well is the best solution, us instead of keeping on centring in our hurt feelings and giving with it to be able on us whom it hurt to us, to learn to look for the love, the beauty and the kindness around us. To excuse helps us to recover the power of our life.
Wednesday, 12 December 2012
Saturday, 8 December 2012
Thursday, 6 December 2012
El miedo a la muerte ---- The fear of the death
Este miedo, siempre nos ha impresionado a todos, pero sin embargo, yo creo que vivir la vida con plenitud y generosidad, comprendiendo y ayudando a los demás, a mi juicio es el mejor antídoto contra el temor a la muerte, porque de este modo, se gana autoestima y seguramente la satisfacción intima de permanecer en la memoria de las personas que nos han amado.
En alguna ocasión, todos nos ha tocado vivir la experiencia de la muerte de los demás, y nos afecta especialmente la de nuestros familiares o amigos. Los muertos a los que hemos amado en vida, nunca desaparecerán, porque permanecerán en nuestros pensamientos, en nuestras acciones, o en una simple fotografía.....si desaparecen de la memoria, no les habremos amado de verdad. Simplemente, el aprendizaje de la serenidad nos permite tomar distancia para encontrar en uno mismo el medio de no sufrir.
El temor a la muerte siempre ha sido innato en el hombre. Desde que comprende que los demás son otro yo y que todos pueden desaparecer, el despertar angustioso ante este fenómeno brutal e incomprensible contra el cual está totálmente desprotegido. Muchos de nosotros tememos a la muerte, yo mismo pase por una experiencia así al padecer un cáncer de pulmón que cerca estuvo de acabar conmigo, por suerte fue un tumor que se pudo tratar y solucionar a tiempo. aunque muchas veces la gente no hable de ella , siempre hay un temor latente, otros procuran vencer su temor hablando constantemente de ella. Creyentes o no, todos temen a la enfermedad interpretada siempre como el camino hacia la muerte.
Porque sin duda, quien teme sufrir, sufre ya lo que teme. Tememos perder lo que la vida nos da, todo lo que vemos a nuestro alrededor, nuestros allegados, la sociedad....que seguirá evolucionando sin nosotros, es en el fondo un sentimiento de frustración por no estar presente en ese gran espectáculo de la vida, en el que a la vez somos actores y espectadores. Podemos padecer desgracias, la pérdida de seres queridos, dificultades materiales o sociales, pero nuestra reacción ante la desgracia depende en gran medida de nuestras posibilidades psicológicas para analizar adecuadamente esas dificultades, conocerlas y aceptarlas.
Siempre he creído que la mejor forma para no sentir angustia y temor por la muerte, es aumentar la autoestima, el aprecio por la vida y lo que comporta. ¿El secreto para mi?, vivir plenamente el momento presente, no malgastarlo o perderlo. Lo mas importante en la vida para mi, es no conceder importancia a las cosas que no la tienen. Es fácil de decir y dificil de hacer, lo reconozco, pero de ahí el crecimiento y evolución persona, porque actuar así, nos aportará una mayor satisfacción íntima.
La neurosis de la muerte, no se cura con ficciones o ilusiones inútiles, sino con un trabajo filosófico y psicológico personal, bien definido sobre uno mismo y sus pensamientos, es el aprendizaje de la serenidad, porque gracias a este tipo de introspección personal y racional es posible adquirir la distancia necesaria. Yo pienso que es más digno y más eficaz tener un ideal de la muerte y encontrar en uno mismo el medio de no sufrir pensando en todo lo que la vida nos ha aportado. La vida es una oportunidad, creyentes, agnósticos o ateos...lo esencial es la vida que elegimos. Esta puede ser plena y gozosa si respetamos a los demás, si somos altruistas, capaces de ayudar, de comprender y de remediar el sufrimiento de los demás.
Debemos cultivar siempre la alegria de vivir, apreciar siempre el momento presente, no lamentar el pasado, saber conservar la libertad interior.
This fear, it has always impressed all of us, but nevertheless, I believe that to live through the life with plenitude and generosity, comprising and helping to the others, to my judgment is the best antidote against the fear of the death, because this way, self-esteem is gained and of course the satisfaction becomes close of remaining in the memory of the persons who have loved us.
In some occasion, all it has touched us to live through the experience of the death of the others, and we are affected especially by that of our relatives or friends. The dead persons whom we have loved in life, will never disappear, because they will remain in our thoughts, in our actions, or in a simple photo..... if they disappear of the memory, we will not have loved them really. Simply, learning of the serenity allows us to take distance to find in one himself the way of not suffering.
The fear of the death has always been innate in the man. Since there comprises that other sound another I and that they all can disappear, the distressing awakening before this brutal and incomprehensible phenomenon against which it is totálmente unprotected. Many of us we are afraid to the death, me of the same pass for an experience like that on having endured a cancer of lung that close was of finishing with me, fortunately it was a tumor that could talk each other and to solve on time. although often the people do not speak about her, there is always a latent fear, others try to conquer its fear speaking constantly about her. Believers or not, they all are afraid of the illness interpreted always like the way towards the death.
Because undoubtedly, who is afraid to suffer, already suffers of what he is afraid. We are afraid to lose what the life gives to us, everything what we see around us, our relatives, the society.... that will keep on evolving without us, it is in the fund a frustration feeling for not being present in this big spectacle of the life, in which simultaneously we are actors and spectators. We can endure misfortunes, the dears' loss, material or social difficulties, but our reaction to the misfortune depends to a great extent on our psychological possibilities to analyze appropriately these difficulties, to know them and to accept them.
I have always believed that the best form not to feel anxiety and fear for the death, is to increase the self-esteem, the appreciation for the life and what it endures. The secret for me?, to live entirely through the present moment, not to waste it or to lose it. The most important thing in the life for me, is not to grant importance to the things that do not have it. It is easy to say and difficult to do, I admit it, but hence the growth and evolution presents itself, because to act as like that, will bring us a major intimate satisfaction.
The neurosis of the death, he does not recover with fictions or useless illusions, but with a thought personal, good philosophical and psychological work defined on one himself and its, it is learning of the serenity, because thanks to this type of personal and rational introspection it is possible to acquire the necessary distance. I think that it is worthier and more effective to have an ideal of the death and to find in one himself the way of not suffering thinking about everything what the life has brought us. The life is an opportunity, believers, agnostics or atheists... the essential thing there is the life that we choose. This one can be full and joyful if we respect the others, if we are altruistic, capable of helping, of understanding and of remedying the suffering of the others.
We must always cultivate the happiness of living, always appreciating the present moment, not to be sorry about the past, to be able to preserve the interior freedom.
Wednesday, 5 December 2012
Long Black Train...Josh Turner
There´s a long black train
coming down the line
feeding off the souls that are lost and crying
tails of sin only evil remains
watch out brother for that long black train
Look to the heavens
you can look to the skies
you can find redemption
staring back into your eyes
there is protection and there is
peace the same burn in your ticket for that
long black train
Cause theres victory in the lord i say
victory in the lord
cling to the father and his holy name
and dont go riding on that long black train
Theres a engine there on that long black train
making you wonder if your ride is worth the pain
hes just a waitin on your heart to say
let me ride on that long black train
But u know theres victory in the lord i say
victory in the lord
cling to the father and his holy name
and dont go riding on that long black train
Well i can hear the whistle from a mile away
it sounds so good
but i must stay away
that train is a beauty making everybody stare
but its only destination is the middle of nowhere
But u know theres victory in the lord i say
victory in the lord
cling to the father and his holy name
and dont go riding on that long black train
I said cling to the father and his holy name and dont go ridin on that black train
yes watch out brother for that long black train
the devils a ridin that long black train.
Madurez...Mature
Es vital emprender la busqueda interior en plena madurez psicológica, porque el despertar de la conciencia es el proceso mas complejo de la vida humana.
It is vital to tackle the interior search in full psychological ripeness, because the awakening of the conscience is the most complex process of the human life.
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